Millionaire Art Collectors Unionize, Protesting Their Billionaire Competition

As unionization efforts continue to gain steam across the United States, one unlikely group is stepping up to counteract an even more obnoxious group of art collectors that is snatching headlines and artworks at a pace never seen before. Watch out billionaires—the millionaires are pissed.

Art-loving millionaires across the United States, Canada, and the European Union have banded together to fight back against the growing monopoly of billionaires at art auctions, on museum boards, and at art fairs, where galleries are favoring those with 10-digit portfolios over their lesser seven-digit counterparts. 

The latest push comes after the Museum of Modern Art refused to remove Leon Black, the billionaire who paid pedophile Jeffrey Epstein $158 Million for “art consultation” and other nebulous activities. “If a pedophile-loving billionaire can’t be kicked off the board, then we’re doomed. I mean, what is this? Trump’s White House?” said one anonymous millionaire by phone. The interviewee, who spoke to Hyperallergic on the condition of anonymity, asked not to be named for fear of being kicked out of the University Club in Midtown, Manhattan where they are currently a member.

“This new wave of organizing may be surprising, but it may have been inevitable,” explained another millionaire who attended the closed-door meeting of BSillionaires, the group that has been slowly forming to combat the propaganda of billionaires and their associated media outlets. “I can’t even afford the latest Christopher Wool or Damien Hirst. How am I supposed to proudly say I have a comprehensive collection of New York and London-based blue-chip art if I can’t afford the newest works? Will I have to bid on the NFTs? Can you imagine? Where do I even store that? On my assistant’s iPhone?”

The fissures of this latest culture war has been termed “Battle of the Bling” by the New York media. The struggle had already begun to emerge in the last few years as billionaires have started to demand an even greater voice in politics and even more tax cuts, leaving their former millionaire allies largely powerless and only able to influence local council member races and policies. 

“We are fighting for everyone,” explained one BSillionaire member. “This is our tea party.”

No billionaires or their representatives would respond to Hyperallergic’s request for comment.

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